Dave’s experience with the Suicide Bereavement Service: “You are not the only person carrying this pain”
People who lose a loved one to suicide can face an increased risk of suicide themselves, but support such as that provided by the South East London Suicide Bereavement Service helps people navigate their grief and reduce the risk of a future crisis.
The South East London Suicide Bereavement Service, delivered by South London and Maudsley, South East London Mind and Mind in Bexley, supports people of all ages bereaved by suicide across Bexley, Bromley, Greenwich, Lambeth, Lewisham and Southwark. In its first five years, the service has supported more than 700 people.
After losing his brother in 2012 and his granddaughter in 2023, Dave used the service and found that, despite the pressure to remain strong for others, he wasn’t alone in his thoughts and feelings around his bereavement.
Discussing the service, Dave said: “They don’t give you the answer because there isn’t one. But they are there to support you. There’s no judgement, no agenda and no lecturing. They listened, showed empathy and always helped steer the conversation back to what mattered without being prescriptive. No service can take away what has happened or bring back the person you’ve lost. It doesn’t erase the tragedy. But it does give you hope.”
Mind notes that research suggests those bereaved by suicide may have especially complicated and complex feelings, as well as additional struggles while trying to cope with the loss. People can feel things like shame, guilt and blame about the situation.
“People think you don’t want to talk about it because they’re frightened of upsetting you. You feel isolated because you’re carrying something no one else wants to acknowledge. You find yourself asking the same questions: What could I have done? Could I have prevented it? Why did it happen? You search for a reason that makes sense,” said Dave.
Dave joined the service’s Walk and Talk groups in parks across south-east London, where he met other people with experiences of suicide bereavement. He said: “While the experience is so personal, you realise very quickly that you are not the only person carrying this pain. Reaching out for help is a brave and difficult decision. Human beings are made to connect with other people. You can convince yourself that you can carry all the weight alone, but eventually something will break unless you get support.”
We are hosting the 8th annual World Suicide Prevention Day Conference and Service of Remembrance on Thursday 10 September at 10am online.
The event will explore the support available to people affected by suicide and highlight the vital role of postvention in suicide prevention. It will feature discussions on lived experiences, the importance of compassionate care, reducing stigma around suicide and bereavement, and how services and communities can better support individuals after a suicide.
The conference will also include a non-denominational service of remembrance led by chaplains from South London and Maudsley, offering an opportunity to reflect on and remember those lost to suicide, both personally and professionally.